Every time I’m on set I’m told I’m the talent and I’m beautiful. Models aren’t supposed to feel ugly, but have you ever thought about how ridiculous that request is? I mean, who goes around feeling invincible… in terms of their feelings, at least. For every 10 compliments I receive, it only takes 1 criticism to have me spending hours in front of the mirror, naked, trying to figure out if it’s true or not.
I remember one day a random girl at a casting said I had a large forehead. Her comment was one of 40 I received that day, but it stood out.
Four hours later, after I had thoroughly stared at all of my tear sheets, and spent 1 hour rearranging my hair, I was on the phone with colleagues of mine.
What one photographer said my look was ‘unique’. For me, that only validated my fear. I did have a large forehead. After crying, I pulled myself together and called my hairdresser. He reworked my hair to better frame my face.
Sure, all of this might have been a bit unnecessary – nobody I spoke to suggested I change my look- but after that one comment I couldn’t bear looking at myself in the mirror anymore. It hurt too much, and I could just see it in my head some bitchy girls talking about. It didn’t matter if there were 30 people surrounding me, worshipping every other part of my body… it was that one girl, and her judgmental, hateful comment that did the trick. Not only did it hurt at that one moment, it hurt the entire day.
So the next time you think about publically criticizing a model’s looks, think about how that might feel if it was you. Imagine how it feels to have the one thing you are known and loved for rudely criticized. I can tell you, it hurts. Yes, we receive praise, but we’re still human xxx