A common phrase which many of us have heard of. If you haven’t it basically means don’t go out with/date/sleep with your co-worker.
This is a strange subject matter for me to bring up as I’ve never gone out with a colleague, I’ve always been a firm believer not to get involved with someone who you work with. Even at Uni I didn’t want a relationship with a classmate to begin just in case it doesn’t work out, you would still have to see your ex and work with him or her everyday. This would be especially hard on the person who didn’t want the relationship to end. This type of situation can lead to poor performance, increased absenteeism, workplace drama and a possible hostile environment.
Also, workplace romance rarely, if ever, stays between two people. Soon the rumour mill gets started and it’s everybody’s business. Now your love life is the subject of gossip and all eyes are on you and the person you’re dating. Relationships need time to grow between just two people before being brought out into the open. Constant scrutiny can drive a quick wedge between you.
So why I am talking about this?
Because although I have never had an office romance I am currently experiencing all of the consequences of one breaking up. Let me explain.
About a year I did a shoot which I genuinely had a great time with and got some really nice pictures from. I spoke with the photographer a couple of times afterwards when he was sending the pictures over and discussed the idea of shooting again, which I was totally up for.
We didn’t speak then until a couple of months ago where he decided to message me asking me out to which I politely declined as I found it a bit random and honestly he wasn’t my type so why break my rule for someone I wasn’t interested in? Unfortunately he didn’t really accept this, he thought no meant try harder….for a couple of weeks he message a few times not understanding ‘no,’ ‘I’m busy’ etc and then the messages stopped.
Until a few nights ago I got a surprising message ‘Time wasting little bitch. So many stupid girls like you.’
I know right! Wow. From that message you think I’d been in a relationship with this guy or ‘playing’ him. The exchange of our messages have been purely platonic, these messages where only exchanged over Facebook as I didn’t want to give out my number. After I received this message I was ready to fire back, only to discover he blocked me.
Now honestly I don’t care what he thinks of me but I am worried. We are on a lot of the same casting websites, Facebook groups and we know some of the same photographers/models. If he decides to over react like that and say that to me. He could say so much worse behind my back. I am expecting him to attempt to blacklist me and taint my name. And what if we have to work together again? I don’t want to turn down a job if I know he will be the photographer.
Being involved with someone in this kind of work environment is obviously completely different compared to an office environment. Although if you go through a breakup up you may not have to see them every day but when you do it is in a more intimate environment. What if your ex is the photographer for a lingerie shoot? Talk about awkward.
If I wasn’t put off already by relationships that start in the workplace, I am now. xxx